I just put in my two weeks' notice today and I don't really know how I feel about that. It's something that has to be done--since we moved, it has just become nearly impossible for me to juggle both work and school because the pharmacy is significantly farther.

It still feels like breaking up a very long relationship. "It's not you, baby, it's me..."

Right?

I feel fortunate to be in a position where I can just focus on finishing school now, especially now that I am so very close, but I really don't know what to do with all of this newfound time. So far, I have finished all of my projects due through December and watched the whole second season of Heroes. What do you do with all this free time?!

Either my house is going to be really clean, or I need some new hobbies....

So, I received my Pharmacy Tech certification Friday. Yay for more money. Kroger is going to give me a whole extra dollar...oooh. Thank goodness for Genoa, booting me up a whole $2.

Besides that, my weekend was shot to hell. Cleaned, did homework, and I went to visit my dad, even though I wish that we met at his house instead of seeing the rest of the family. I'm so pissed. I can understand why my brothers hate our family so much, and why they stay so far away.

Marlee and Amber, these statements in no way pertain to you or your dad, I just wanted to make that clear. You guys are awesome and not the least bit spiteful.

I just don't understand how someone can take a person's dreams and self-worth and crap all over it. Their hatefulness directed at me today only increases the fervour I have in obtaining my education, and I swear I will get into pharmacy school. My mom is going to get the surgery she can't afford and insurance won't pay for, and they'll never have to worry about choosing between paying for her medication or eating (or paying rent, etc., ad nauseum). My dad won't have to worry about who's going to take care of him.

It's so infuriating I can't even explain it. Just because I'm a caring person, or that I work my ass off doing two jobs and holding a full-time course load won't guarantee my entrance into pharmacy school, I understand that. And I know that life isn't always fair, and the little guy usually finishes last. But I will keep trying. If there is one thing I am, it is stubborn.

I just see Shurree's family, and I see Chad's family, and I can see how people are suppose to be: families that support and love, build up, not break down. I just felt so broken down today, and I realized how much I missed my grandmother. I miss her so much I can't even stand it. She died before I had the chance to tell her about my wish to become a pharmacist. I understand that she knows now, but to have her here beside me today, would be so comforting I cannot even describe it. I hate change...I always have, and I'm always missing things "the way they were." But you can never go back, so you just have to embrace what you have at this very moment in time.

I guess I'm rambling now, so, I suppose I'll go back and get myself excited about studying for physics. Oh, and the raise from Kroger, can't forget that. I'll be making a whole seven dollars an hour now working my tail off! Guys, be nice to your Kroger techs. We're overworked and get paid as much as a bagger.




~C.

Robert Jordan died Sunday.

I have not slept in over 36 hours. I spent from 10:00 last night until now on my first Physics assignment, and I still only have fifty percent done...And this thing is due tomorrow. Work is in half an hour, and I have class until 6:30 tonight.

If anyone can explain vector problems to me...I will be your slave. The TA has screwed our entire class.

Gosh, it feels like forever since I've even touched a computer other than for school or work. For the past six months I've done nothing but eat, drink, sleep, and dream about getting into pharmacy school. Making contacts for future recommmendations, keeping my grades up, preparing for my PCAT and pharmacy tech certification (this one was mainly for more money at work ;). I've also been trying to get some clinical experience, so I can look like a really well-rounded sort of student. I'll put my kitty ears on for my interview: "Please accept me into your pharmacy program...I'm so cute and soft!"

The good news is, I have managed to land the job I've been praying for since the beginning of June. One of the pharmacists is leaving Kroger, and he asked me earlier last month what it would take for me to come work for him at his clinic. He would pay me double what I make a Kroger (which is shitty--no seriously--the cart pushers at Wal-Mart make 2 dollars more than I do...and I'm not saying that cart-pushers don't work hard or anything, so...), plus he would work around my school schedule, plus he would give me a sterling recommendation for my application into pharmacy school. Needless to say, when he called me on Friday, I was ecstatic. Don't get me wrong...it is breaking my heart to leave Kroger. I work with the greatest group of people you'll ever know, and I dare anyone to challenge this. Our new pharmacy manager is the best, and I really worried about how to go about leaving "the group." Today, I spoke to the regional manager of Kroger about keeping both jobs...working every other weekend or so for Kroger. Now, for those not familiar with the pharmacy low-down (unfortunate people, lol) you cannot work retail pharmacy for one store, say Kroger, and then for another, say, Walgreens, within a certain area (for pharmacists with Kroger I think they mentioned it was fifty miles, wow). Apparently, we like to share "secrets" and such with the other chains.

...oooh....

She told me she has been observing how hard I've been working, and she has no problem with this, especially since it will be in a more clinical setting. Yay! No more: "Where is the Prilosec? (right in the large display in front of the pharmacy, reading 'Prilosec')" and "The coffee machine isn't working!" or "Can you help me with this photo machine? (photo lab is right next to the pharmacy)" which is right up there with "This bathroom is locked, I need a key. (no, sir, a single public restroom with a locked door means SOMEONE IS IN THE DAMN RESTROOM!!!)"

The next time I can worry too much about retail is when I'm doing my rotation about four years from now! Don't get me wrong, I'll miss our special people, but I am glad to have this little break.

Of course, as soon as I get my really great news, I get a phone call from Chad. His best friend was in a motorcycle accident this morning. We went by to see him this afternoon, and he seems relatively okay--a broken clavicle and a hairline fracture in his hip--but he was just coming off his morphine and promethazine combo when we stopped by. I left to sit with his girlfriend in the waiting area, while (my)Chad helped him get out of the bed so they could discharge him. When he went to sit up earlier that day, his blood pressure just bottomed out and he threw up and was otherwise very nauseated (hence the promethazine), but after four tries, Chad managed to get up and into the wheelchair. (my) Chad gave him his shirt to put on since they had to cut off his this morning (after the car hit him, Chad flipped 3 times and was partially lodged under the guy's truck with the bike on top of him) and his mom drove him home. I think what struck me, was the fact that both Chads had not been very close the past few months because of certain reasons. When it came down to it, the only friends that showed up to see if he was okay were myself and Chad. Though everyone knew about what had happened (even before us) those guys who swore to be upright, Christian men, who supported him no matter what, never even called...nothing. I'm not going to get in a big to-do about what it means to be, not only a Christian, but a decent human being, but I do know that there are fake friends out there...no matter how much they hem and haw about doing everything for you, when it comes down to it--the heat is on and something truly terrible happens--those "friends" are nowhere to be seen. I say that Chad was relatively okay because when they found his helmet, it was split in two, and his bike was completely wasted (though we will not mention this to him just yet ;), but he could have just as easily died. And I can think of at least several people who wouldn't have given a good damn to see him go.

I hope he does realize that we both love him very much, and though he may get onto us every now and again because of our religious and political views, I don't know what I'd do if he wasn't there.

Hang in there, buddy, life's more interesting with you in it. You've got your friend Percocet 10-650 to get you through until tomorrow, so things aren't so bad, right?

Find your Celestial Choir

Wow, how true...

Last night this went down:

Chad: Uh-oh.

Me: What?

Chad: I know I'm in trouble now.

Me: Why do you say that?

Chad: You're speaking all proper on me.

Me: Whatever do you mean?

Chad: When you start anunciating, I know a discussion is coming.


LOL.

I'm at work now, and I am bored out of my mind. I cannot absolutely wait until I can get out of this and into something that's more stimulating! It's been a week and UK still hasn't contacted me.

And it is driving me nuts. I think the FAFSA stuff concerns me more...a lot more, but I would like to know enough to get the ball rolling. I need to figure out my schedule for this Spring, work being slightly less important, but still necessary to figure out. I could go with Shurree on this whole personal assistant thing.

It would definitely make moving from this job to the next easier. My people call their people, then the lab people...I don't have to tell my bosses I'm leaving, therefore inciting WWIII...

It would work, I swear.

I am making my proclamations now on how I'm going to deal with the crazy storm coming this January. First off, I cannot back down from my bosses. I need to just move on, and keep it impersonal. I don't want the drama to explode like it did at my last job, when everyone took themselves way too seriously. Second, I need to really get my behind in gear when I start back to classes (I'm already assuming I'll get it...dangerous, no, but I'm a confident lady...). This means NO skipping classes no matter how good of a grade I have, and NO procrastinating. Shurree, this is on both of us, okay? You gave me your schedule, I'll give you mine, and if we hear about a paper from one another it gets done at least a week before it's due! I must invoke the silver best friend card on this, hon. Finally, I will NOT...read this people and hold me to it...will NOT work two full-time jobs at any point of my re-college career. Any of these combinations are acceptable:

One full-time job

Two part-time jobs

One full-time job, and one part-time job (weekends only)

I about cracked my final semester of undergrad work, and it will not happen again. I'm just keeping my fingers crosses and trying not to stress out, hoping that I'll be able to move on from this job before I begin to get really slammed with projects.

...

Here's to all the college kids being so much younger than me! (Avenue Q fans will understand ;)

Why do I always get the evil outcome? Everyone knows, however, I would only even consider dating Malfoy for a chance at his dad. Draco's a little too emo for me.

...

Sorry if I offended all of the emo kids...

I believe that what goes around, comes around. Usually, if someone does something to hurt you, and you cut them out of your life, you often never see this come to fruition (or, rather, ruination). I, on the other hand, am one of the lucky ones, I suppose.

I see what she is going through, and I know I should be happy...but I'm not, exactly. I feel incredibly bad for her, because this is exactly what she did to me more then two years ago. I've been through the pain, and it sucks. There is no happiness nor gloating in this pain. Just sadness. I do feel sorry for her. But I cannot feel sorry for her either. This is karma, universal justice, the result of a choice...a consequence. The only solace she will find is in God, where I found mine so long ago.

All there is, is prayer.

Since I'm the last person to always receive important news...

I heard today from a coworker who has recently picked up the WoT novels that RJ was diagnosed with amyloidosis this past March. I went online, thinking to dispel the rumor, but it turned out to be true after all.

Now those of you from the site, I'm sure you're all up to date, but...what a shock. On Dragonmount, he spoke of thirty years needed to finish the series.

I hope the heck not!

Anywho, he said that without treatment he probably had no more than a year left, so, kudos for him catching it early and all, and I will pray for his speedy recovery.

That's all, I just wanted to drop a line for those who are still in the dark.



~C.

Lost is coming on tonight and serious stuff is going down. I absolutely cannot wait until 9.

In other news, I found out that I am not going back to West Virginia in April, which gives me time to catch up on paying bills and such. I'm trying to get all of Chad's cards paid off this year, but we'll see...

We also took one of the girls affiliated with the band (don't worry, Shurree, this one is cool) to Applebees for her birthday last night. She has never had a party or gotten a gift in her life. On top of that her "friends," I found out, constantly mooch money off of her (which they even had the cahones to do last night until Chad got a hold of them). They wanted her to pay for their dinner! Why would they even come? Some people, I swear! I just don't tolerate others taking advantage of sweet people like her. I know, I used to be a sweet person ;)

Anyway, Chad's giving me some money to do a little shopping for shorts and stuff today, so maybe that will occupy me until 9.

...

Did anyone else notice how cracked-up my frog looks?

I don't get how you can schedule a doctor's appointment, get in and then are told that they are going to just ask a bunch of questions. AND...they will be able to see you in one month for the check-up I was suppose to get that day. WTF? I am sick now! Look at me now!! How much did asking me a bunch of questions I could have easily answered by bringing my medical records from UK? (Oh, but, no, we don't do that here!)

...

ready for this?

...approximately $134.21

Yeah. And we couldn't be billed for it. It was due then. Up front. There goes groceries for Cherlyn and Chad.

You think I'm kidding? That's about two days of work for me that was suppose to cover bills. Useful ones, I mean.

I'm po'

I can't even afford the 'or'

I'm so broke I can't even pay attention.


Stupid doctors. I just wish they would have told me so I could have just gone to the UTC. This place was in Berea, too, so we had to trade cars with a friend since ours is on its last legs and fill his up with gas and have the oil changed.



I'm angsty.

Would anyone wonder why I did not extend my friendship to them when they act one way towards those close to me while I was present, and then another when I was not?



Hmm...I thought not.

I can't watch Law and Order or any kind of mystery movie with Chad anymore. I swear, the moment the opening song begins, he already has a theory of whodunit as well as their MO! Like in Nip/Tuck--the greatest show ever on television!!--he knew who the Carver was way before it was made painfully obvious (or was it...hmm...?) Don't worry, I wouldn't spoil it for those who have not seen the final episode. AND...he knew the other thing that was very weird about the Carver that no one could have really even thought of unless they had seen the final episode...but apparently not. By the time it came around, I was shouting out so many names at the screen (who I had thought the Carver was) I felt like a huge idiot when it was revealed.

Must be nice to be so smart...

I was browsing videos today and found out who the "samurai who smells of sunflowers" is. I am so pissed off now! Why do people post spoilers without warning someone first!?

	Dear Cupid, This year, I've had my ups and downs in the love department.
I sang a love song to Jodarkcastle but they lost their lifelong love of music. I went shopping for lingerie with Lasuperbrett. I went to the movies and caught Outkri-frontman and Orangegrove making out.
So, as you can see, it's been a hectic year. Can you please make Danelley fall in love with me this Valentine's day? Sincerely, musettarhapsody
Take this Quiz at QuizGalaxy.com
( or, take the 'adult' version at QuizUniverse.com )

...I don't think Jo would ever lose her love of music (of course if I were to be the one singing...that might be plausible)! But Donna and my fiance...how scandalous!

And, Julie, I know I could trust your sense of style when it comes to lingerie ;)